OK, got a few things going on this weekend. Should be good weather, if today is anything to go by.
Tonight I’m off to London for a friends birthday at the Boogaloo in Highgate. Tomorrow I’m getting my hair cut in the morning but otherwise have nothing really planned. Sunday I’m going to see a good friend. And Monday I was supposed to be going to Grafham Water where there was an activity day, but it looks like it may have been cancelled.
based on one of Josef Albers ‘Homage to the Square’ series of paintings . This painting is actually one a set of three. They’re nice little objects interspersed among my bookshelves at the moment.
Speaking of framing and Josef Albers-I’ve just received the poster for the 1972 Olympics featuring an image by Albers. I’m in two-minds over whether to get it framed. It’s likely to be quite expensive as it’s quite a large poster (1010 x 640mm). I had the ‘Play Time’ poster framed and that cost c.£80, so this will be more than that. It’s difficult – framing it adds aesthetic value to the object, it’s nice to have it presented well.
Having a day off work, as is traditional (at least for me – although some people seem to think it’s strange to take your birthday off). I plan on moping round the house, feeling sorry for myself.
Have just signed up at artshub.co.uk which is a site for arts industry-related jobs, which is really what I would like to get back into (the Arts, that is). It would be good to apply my experience in print, design and computers to a job in the Arts, so that’s what I’ll be on the lookout for.
Although my login details for the site have gone wrong somehow and I can’t access it yet, so I’ll just have to wait to see what it can offer.
tomorrow is my birthday. really unhappy about the whole thing. I’ve never been concerned about it before, indeed in the past I’ve been quite proud that everyone else has stressed about their impending birthdays while I’ve had such a laissez-fare attitude to it all. I am such an idiot. I have so many chips on my shoulder, am guilty of so much pride in myself, have such a patronising attitude to everyone else, it’s not surprising that I find it so difficult to make and keep friends. You reap what you so.
It’s not the age thing, it’s what’s happening in my life at the moment. Everything’s changed from, say, this time last year. No partner, no house, same crappy job. So much has changed and I can’t honestly say much has been for the better. Yeah, yeah, of course it’ll work out in the long run, but it’s shitty RIGHT NOW. In order for things to get better there’s so much more that I have to change/address. I’ve been forced into making various changes, but it’s getting to the point where I’m on my own to take the next steps. Something I’ve never been good at. My whole life has been a reaction to events rather than my own actions.
So many times I just fall back on going with the flow and seeing what happens. What the fuck good has that done me. Sure, I was very happy at one point, but it turns out that was just an illusion and inevitably fell apart at the slightest test.
As I said to a friend of mine, surely I should have worked all this out by now, I’m at the age where I should know what I want and have achieved something of that, or at least be able to say I’m working towards it. Whereas I’m in a situation not of my own making, in a job that I feel incredibly insecure about my ability to do, incredibly unhappy about being in, in an industry in which I don’t really want to progress.
I’m asking the same questions as when I was a teenager – what’s that all about??